Q&A with The Messy Mommy

Editor’s note: I spent a month agonizing over this “About Me” post. Yes, this entire blog is about me, but this post is different. I have to tell you who I am without being braggy or sounding like an a-hole. It really is pretty tough. Here’s what I came up with: a Q&A. I’ll interview myself (I know it sounds batsh*t crazy), and you’ll hopefully get to know a bit about me.

The Messy Mommy: Thanks so much for agreeing to this interview.

Crystal: It’s my pleasure! I want the readers to get to know me. I just hope I don’t bore them to death!

TMM: I wouldn’t worry too much about that. It’s bound to happen. Now, tell me a little about yourself and why you decided to start blogging.

Crystal: Well, I’m a stay-at-home mom by choice and circumstance. I worked for more than a decade as a newspaper copy editor, then I lost my job at the end of my maternity leave in 2016.

The Messy Mommy's husband, Mr. T

Mr. T

TMM: Wow, that sucks.

Crystal: Yeah, it did. And it was terrifying. But it really was the best thing that could’ve happened. My dumb butt assumed my daughter would just fit into my life with my husband, Mr. T. No major adjustments necessary. Really, what was I thinking? She’s taken over our house, when we can eat and sleep, when we can pee. She’s a dictator. Nothing is really under our control. It’s chaos …

TMM: … You said you’re staying home by choice …

Crystal: Yeah, yeah, I’m getting to that. It’s chaos, but it’s OK because the payoff is that I haven’t missed a moment of her growing up. It’s crazy how fast it happens. I can remember the day of my C-section — what I wore, my hair, my ashy ankles. And now I’m planning my baby’s first birthday party.

I chose to be home with her so I wouldn’t miss a thing. The stay-at-home mom gig is tough, but I can’t imagine not doing it.

Baby Bird and her doll

Baby Bird and her baby

I started the blog for Baby Bird — that’s what I call my daughter— and because my friend, Liz Lauer, and my therapist suggested it. A few years from now, Baby Bird won’t be speaking to me for some reason, and she’ll be thinking I don’t care about her. I’m hoping she’ll read this blog and see that she and her father are my life, and that she’s meant the world to me from the moment I found out I was pregnant.

TMM: That’s beautiful. I’m sure she’ll appreciate what you’re doing for her.

Crystal: Probably not. Mom-daughter relationships can be rough from, like, middle school to, like, 25, so she probably won’t even read this until long after we’re back on good terms.

TMM: Mmm-kay. Moving on: Can you tell me what “The Messy Truth of Mommyhood” means? You’re not just talking about the literal mess, are you?

Crystal: I’m not, but I’m sure I’ll write something about that.

Magazines and books didn’t prepare me for the ugly side of pregnancy or being a mom. For example, I was expecting longer hair and nails, glowing skin, and the basketball-sized baby bump. You know, the cute stuff. I got back acne, bloating, and farts that could have killed small animals. Then there was the self-consciousness, breastfeeding struggles … the list goes on. That’s my messy truth.

This blog isn’t and will never be about mocking other moms — who the hell has the right or the time to do that? It’s about sharing my truth, my beautiful struggle. My motherhood journey has been messy — a miscarriage scare, pain, and shaming — and marvelous.

TMM: We’re all excited to hear more from you. Is there anything else you’d like to share before we wrap this up?

Crystal: I love long walks on the beach, my cat, Tinsel, Ghirardelli Caramel Turtle brownies …

But seriously, I just want you, the readers, to know how much I appreciate you coming here. There are thousands of things you could be doing with your time, but you’re giving it to me. Thank you for that. I’ll try my hardest never to take you for granted.

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