Mr. T and I have known each other since we were kids. Seriously — it’s been more than 20 years.
So if I’m honest and not being hard on him, I’ll admit that he’s one of the best men I know. He’s kind, caring, as considerate as can be. He’s patient, relaxed, and always even-keeled. I trust that he’ll always love and protect me and Baby Bird.
But for months, I wouldn’t trust him to care for our daughter on his own.
I didn’t think he’d hurt her — at least, not intentionally. My concern was that his relaxed, surfer dude attitude would result in Baby Bird being harmed. He’d drop her while they were playing rough. She’d fall when he turned his back for a second and get hurt. He’d forget that babies get hungry and thirsty and forget to give her food or milk.
I didn’t think he’d be neglectful. I just didn’t think he was knowledgeable where babies are concerned.
We’re in a better place now. I still haven’t left them alone for a full day, but I trust that he could handle her if I did. Part of the reason for my confidence is my Baby Care 101 Guide.
It might seem silly that Mr. T would need a flowchart to help him care for our kid, but there are some things some people just don’t consider:
- Is she fussing because she’s too hot or cold?
- Might she be bored?
- Have you checked for hair tourniquets? (Mr. T just learned about them last night.)
- Does she need time to play on her own? Are you overstimulating her?
This guide isn’t about shaming husbands because they don’t know as much about childcare as you or I do. It’s about helping them learn so we can get a break.
Print out a copy of the guide. In fact, print out a few copies. Put one in your diaper bag, one on the fridge, and one in the nursery. Tell your friends about it. Urge them to visit the website, subscribe, and print out a few.
Let’s help our guys get on equal footing so we can parent as teams.
Click Here to Download The Messy Mommy’s Baby Care 101 Guide!
I feel like I need a version of that for everyone who watches my kids, our parents included.
Print it out, make copies! And if there’s things you think I should add, shoot me a message or another comment. I just wanted to cover the basics here, but I’d be happy to expand the list.
I swear this is me and my husband!! It took forever and a day before I felt comfortable with him and our son alone. Not because he’d hurt him, but he was too laxed for my liking that I didn’t trust he’d be on top of it. Thanks for your honesty and sharing
I think we kind of become mama bears as soon as our babies arrive, and it doesn’t necessarily work that way for dads. It’s almost like they recognize that the babies are delicate, but dads don’t know how to adjust their behaviors to handle that.
I’m glad the post connected with you!