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I used to exercise for about 90 minutes, six days a week.
I hated it, every minute of it. I hated being hot. I hated sweating. I hated being thirsty. I hated the muscle fatigue.
These days, the closest I get to exercising is Momercise.
What’s that, you ask? I’m so glad you did!
Momercise is all the bending, lifting, shifting, and twisting we moms have to do when caring for our little ones.
I thought that, after months of Momercising, I’d have toned legs and arms, maybe a hint of a six pack.
Nope. I’m just as flabby as the day I left the maternity ward.
Still, I’m gonna share my “routine” with you. Maybe you’ll have better luck with it than I have. Maybe you’ll get a kick out of the crazy crap I do with my daughter every day.
Position yourself behind baby’s walking toy. Drop into a half-ass squat, then walk from one end of the house to the other, then back to your starting point. Repeat throughout the day whenever baby decides she wants to try to walk.
(Expect aches in your hamstrings, quads)
Stand with your feet together, baby in your arms. Quickly drop into a plie squat, pick up the toy your tot has dropped, and pop back up to the starting position. Repeat over, and over, and over, and over …
(Expect aches in your hamstrings, inner thighs, glutes, quads)
Infant Carrier Carry
Place your 18-pound baby into her Chicco Keyfit 30 infant carrier. Instead of putting your carrier caddy into your car’s trunk, accidentally leave it by your front door. Carry your heavy, sleeping baby in the carrier through Kohl’s. Repeat daily, varying the location as necessary but always visiting places that don’t have that can hold a carrier.
(Expect aches in your biceps)
Strap your 18-pound child into her Baby Bjorn. Tote your screaming, kicking child down three flights of stairs to the laundry room in the basement. Alternate between backbends and plie squats as you try to move the clothes from the washer to the dryer without smashing the kid’s head or feet on either appliance. Repeat until every piece of clothing in the house has been cleaned and dried.
(Expect aches in your back, biceps, core, hamstrings, head)