Stranger Danger: Beware of The Bunny

Fifteen families wait in the line. Children are restless, moms are getting upset, and dads are ready to go. But no one dares leave the line. They’ve been waiting all year for this day:

Picture day with the Easter Bunny.

I’m not one of those parents. The Easter Bunny — and Santa, for that matter — freaks me out.

My distaste for the childhood staples has confused other parents.

“You have to take your baby to see (fill in the costumed creature’s name)! Those are pictures you’ll have forever! It’s a part of being a kid!”

Umm, no.

Riding bikes is part of being a kid. Scraped elbows are part of being a kid. Splashing in puddles is part of being a kid.

Sitting on a stranger’s lap for the sake of a snapshot is just creepy.

Baby Bird won’t be taking a photo with the Easter Bunny this year — maybe not ever — and here’s why:

Creepy Easter Bunny gif

The silence. At least Santa wishes you a merry Christmas. The bunny is silent. There’s something horror movie-esque about a smiling, 6-foot-tall animal that won’t speak to you.

The mask. Michael Myers wore a mask. Jason Voorhees wore a mask. Leatherface and the dude from “Scream” wore a mask. See where I’m going with this?

The photo. We’ve all seen the pictures of Child X having a meltdown of epic proportions while the bunny keeps smiling. Photos like these:

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I’m not paying for a photo of my terrified child. I’m not paying for an experience that could start her on the road to therapy.

Stranger danger. In all seriousness, the idea of putting my baby on a stranger’s lap because of a tradition is unsettling. We spend all year teaching kids not to talk to strangers, not to let strangers into our homes, and not to take gifts from strangers — then we shove those rules aside for Santa and the Easter Bunny.

It’s a bit confusing, don’t you think?

Stranger Danger: Beware of The Bunny