Postpartum Problems: Sexy? I’d Settle for Clean

I didn’t expect to be a size 6 days after having my daughter. I didn’t expect to feel like throwing on a bikini within weeks of giving birth. I definitely didn’t expect to feel like a hot mama a month into motherhood.

But I’m moving into month eight. When, exactly, am I gonna get my sexy back?

There’s really no excuse for how frumpy I’ve become — besides the fact that I”m raising an infant while trying to launch a blog, work as a freelance editor, and take over the world. So I’ve resolved to make a change. I will get my sexy back, and here’s how I plan to do it:

  • Put on non-maternity clothes. Those jeans with the elastic at the waist were life-changing, but it’s time to let them go. My post-pregnancy body is too small for my old clothes (thank you, breastfeeding!), so I plan to splurge (read: shop at Kohl’s or H&M) on a few new outfits to get things going. funniest-mommy-memes-3
  • Wash regularly. I’m not joking. When you’re running behind a child, it’s really easy to stay in pajamas all day or put off showering until naptime … or until tomorrow. But Mr. T probably doesn’t think this new habit is cute. I will find time to shower, even if it means taking Baby Bird into the tub with me.
  • Think sexy. My therapist said most women are like pull-start lawn mowers. We require a little work to get us running. She suggested I get in the mood by turning on a romantic movie or soft music, thinking sexy thoughts about Mr. T, or even doing my hair in a style that isn’t a mom bun.
  • Be more positive. My body-image issues predate my pregnancy, but it’s long past time I let them go — for my sake and my daughter’s. I don’t want Baby Bird putting herself down, so I can’t let her hear me criticize myself. I grew a human, and that’s something to be proud of. Any stretch marks I have are battle scars, and I need to embrace them.
  • Fake it till I make it. People often say there’s nothing sexier than a confident woman, and I think they’re right. But confidence is something I’m short on these days. I’m a new mom at a turning point in my professional life, and I’m kinda terrified about where I’m headed. So I’ll fake it till I make it. I’ll build my confidence by telling myself that I’m a vixen, that I’ll land on my feet work-wise, and that my husband thinks I’m MILF-y.

You know, majestic, intriguing, luscious, and feisty.

What did you think I meant?

sexy back
Advertisements